


Send My Love to Heaven

by DrunkenJumin



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Jumin is really emotional, M/M, Unrequited Love, V get the fuck out, Zen is so fucking jealous
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-19
Updated: 2018-04-19
Packaged: 2019-04-25 00:57:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14367471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrunkenJumin/pseuds/DrunkenJumin
Summary: Over the years, I noticed that my look at her was gradually changing. I thought that was a simple one. But when I started thinking about him every night and dreamed every night and I always wanted to be with him, I thought you were different. a feeling that can not be explained but gives me a happy feeling. It makes me excite every time our hands are attached, I feel a strange sensation on my back. Sometimes when we were bathing in the Lake and carrying him on my back to the shore, I did not seem to want to leave him. I want to continue that moment and I want to end it.





	Send My Love to Heaven

**Author's Note:**

> ....notes in the end

How can I describe the man I love most since I was only five years old .. that I like how he will laugh at me whenever I can make a mistake, how he can bad no money thing and no matter how he wept in a simple late night show.   
He is my best friend and I know him since we were little. He knew all my secret and he was with me. I love him not just because he is beautiful and smart but also how he laughed at everything and how he looked at the love life.   
I still remember the first time we met; I was five years old.  
It's a bright and lonely afternoon and I can not play. The other one my friend Yoosung moved to another town because of his Dad's Promote. I went up to our tree house and there I noticed a huge truck coming next to a car. It stopped at a vacant house opposite us and there came a family down. I would have gone far from my eyes when a beautiful woman came out for my sight. She was only five years old but at the same age she was pretty. She has long hairs reaching up to her hair. He is white and eyes are long-eyed.  
I kept watching her suddenly to see her at our tree house and she saw me looking at her. I would have kept her suddenly smiling and waving. I take a wave and startled as he ran towards our tree house. So I went to the stairs and said.   
"Do you want to climb?"   
He answered .. "Can you?"   
I helped him climb up and when he reached the top he looked at me once said.   
"I'm Jumin. What's your name? "   
I replied. "I'm Hyun, Zen calls me Mom." He smiled and said   
"I want your name .." he said and looked over the tree house and said "It's a clean House Tree."  
I answered. "Thank you! I did it for Yoosung and we were here, where we played, we often did bike, he was my best friend when he moved home. "   
He smiled and said," Here I am, you can also be my best friend, We can play as Yoosung does. I have never been a friend of mine so I want to have. I can learn basketball and have a bike, we can bike a day. Is that okay? " 

I smiled and I said," OK, that's it for me. "Then he held my hand and said. "You're new to the bestfriend." 

And that's the beginning of everything.

So we became friends. but it was as strange as he was at first because he was a woman and many things I was hesitant to do, such as the frog's catch, bathe in the pool and climb the tree, but he did everything to please me. He had a chance to fall on the Bike because of my pursuit when we were in the war and I was healing the wounded knee. I still remember when he hit our neighbor's window when we played baseball and I talked Uncle and promised to pay the damages, even if the replacement was a week in school.

I still remember the moments I fell into the tree when I tried to rescue a kitten because Jumin was crying when he saw it hung on a branch. I was too tired of the big boys when they fooled Jumin and they made it big and I had a big black eye and put on a cheek. I still remember Jumin when he was crying as he lay ice on my face and eyes then he gave me GET-WELL KISS. I did everything to please him and gave him everything he wanted and wanted.

The lake is our favorite boat. We often take a shower every Saturday and that's our routine. We packed food and we ate it under the acacia tree. There was a tree where we had a chair. There we often talk about our dreams. He wants to become a CEO Director and knows her dream of becoming a . She does not laugh at me in my dream but she says it's okay. That's the reason why I love him more.

Over the years, I noticed that my look at her was gradually changing. I thought that was a simple one. But when I started thinking about him every night and dreamed every night and I always wanted to be with him, I thought you were different. a feeling that can not be explained but gives me a happy feeling. It makes me excite every time our hands are attached, I feel a strange sensation on my back. Sometimes when we were bathing in the Lake and carrying him on my back to the shore, I did not seem to want to leave him. I want to continue that moment and I want to end it. 

Until I realized how much I loved my Bestfriend.

Many times I try to deny what I feel to her, I'm scared whenever I can think of the outcome when I confess how I feel to her. I'm scared because she might think I'm exploiting our friendship. I'm scared to lose her so I hid my feelings.

We reached the age of sixteen and I noticed that every day she was making her even better. My heart hurts every time I notice the men looking at her. I want them to punch their noses while they are watching and talking with him and letting him out with flowers and chocolates. I had a chance to watch him afar while the anger and pain were mixed. It hurts me that I have a lot to say but I can not do it. There are so many gifts I want to give him but I can not do it because I'm just a friend for him.

One day I just learned from a friend who has a girlfriend. At first I tried to convince myself that it was just a rumor. Her boyfriend, Mark, a famous senior and a heartthrob on our campus. He as a Cheerleader is close to the Basketball team where Mark is Captain. When I saw them one afternoon as I was walking down the parking lot I felt the tremendous crushing of my heart. I want to cry, I want to cry. It feels like I feel like the burden of all the problems of the world. I saw him strike me but I pretended I did not notice them because I was afraid he could see in my eyes the pain and jealousy I felt inside.

The next day was the worst day of my life. My heart bleeds every time he goes with me to walk home Mark is beside him. There is a chance I want to keep him away from here every time I see them together in the hallway. It hurts to see the woman you want to meet now that belongs to others. The unique smile I'm looking forward to fights me, now for him.

But one day they suddenly split. He went to me one night and he wept over my shoulder. They quarreled and led to their separation. Emotions are what I feel inside. I'm happy because he's free and I can have the opportunity to tell him my true feelings. But I also dislike thinking that it may be a blessing because of his love for the mark. At those times I was not sure what I wanted to do. I just let him cry. 

We just found ourselves doing what we were used to. Swimming every Saturday, spend time on the tree house, yelling under the Akasya tree and doing frivolous children.

Many times I had the chance to confess him to my feelings but I could not do it because I was afraid he would get out again for the second time. He's gone to me and I can not afford to lose him again so I try to hide my feelings. 

Just a few weeks before our JS Prom, we were sitting on a donated tree while our own showering from the bath was suddenly saying,   
"I think V, if you want me to be a partner?"   
It seems like I'm gone suddenly I feel like I'm dreaming, I do not think it will happen. Shortly before I responded.   
"Do you think there are many men who die for you, just to be your partner?"  
He turns round and speaks poorly.   
"I thought, I'd rather spend that night with my bestfriend." Before he goes back to the weak voice I almost did not hear.   
"Are you sure you want to die like them so I can be with V?"   
The silence in our surroundings just settled before I could answer.   
"I'm happy to be your partner."   
He smiled and kissed my cheek suddenly. I can not hide the pleasure I feel that time. I noticed that his cheeks were red and he was bowing, suddenly he stood up and ran to the water once said,   
"The last one coming in the water is an exporter of sundae fudge!"

Prom Night of Evening arrives. He bought me a new tuxedo, I almost pour out all the perfume. I turned their house to fetch him. His mother greeted me and sat in the living room to wait for his drop. I talked to his father when I told him to say,   
"How do I look?"   
I looked upstairs and saw him stunningly wearing his dark tuxedo and his hair was soft looking and seemed to blush with his face . I got up and opened my mouth but no one came out. Then he took my hands and trembled to place the corsage on his arm.   
"For the best men in the world."   
He replied "That's true?" I nodded and smiled at him, I gave a smile before he had to carry me to the door. 

When we arrived at the Gymnasium I almost did not know our classmates. Jeans and T-shirts are gone and replaced by Tuxedo and Gowns. I held his hand once said,   
"Will you give me the honor of your first dance?" he laughed and pointed out. Then he pushed him toward the dance floor.

It seems like a dream come true, like fairy tales, like magic, a mysterious moment. I was there in the same way as a man I loved, he smiled at me as we slowly walked in with the melody of the tune. I just found myself staring at him bright eye. His raven, silky hair and seemingly deeper waves in the beauty of his face.

There are so many things I want to tell her that time. I want to tell her that she's the best girl that night. I want to tell her that she is the only light bearer in my loneliness and above all, I want to say that I love her dearly. I jumped inside and bowed to whisper in his ear as the music stopped and Magic disappeared. I did not say anything but I still did not.

Again I took him back to our table and found ourselves surrounded by our friends. I asked her if she wanted to drink and she nodded so I left to take one. I had a long time before getting back and when I returned to our table he was gone. I asked her friend Katie where she was but said it did not know her. So I went round to get him out. 

I looked for him until I reached harden. There I saw two shadows illuminated by the light of the whole month. They come closer to each other. I could not explain what I was feeling when I met the white dress that night that night. I turned around and left the Gymnasium with tears in my eyes.

From that night I avoided him. He tried to talk to me many times but I did not give him the opportunity. I do not want to hear from him that Mark is the one he loves and not me. I would rather not know what he really feels like to hear the dreadful words and perceive the destruction of my hopes and heart. I do not answer her calls, I do not talk to her every time she goes to our house, I avoid her whenever we meet the road. It hurts me to do it but that's a good way to forget her and relieve the pain you feel.

The day came to our end. Planned to take medicine to the man and I have to leave tomorrow. After the program he approached me and reached for a Pink. He looked at me and I noticed that there was something different in her eye that I could not explain. There seemed to be a sadness in it and when he smiled and it was not what I was looking at then. I want her to embrace that time and tell her that she loves her but she turns away and walks away from me.

So the next day I saved someone like the one in the plan. I was lucky to receive the university I chose right away. I focused on my attention to learning but still thinking about her at night. I always ask him to think of me as well. I tried to forget her but I could not help her to love her alone. Every thing I did was for him. I think that if I'm successful I will be able to meet her and that time is right for me.

One year after our Graduation when I decided to go home to see him again. I think it was enough for a year for me that I did not see him. Within that year I was like a man who lost his way to the Desert and only seeing him thirsting my thirst. 

I took a bus home, desperate to get right into their house to see him, embrace, and then say that I missed him and I loved him for a while. This time I was determined to let her know that I love her. 

I reached their house and saw his older brother. I smiled at him and I noticed his sad. I'm confused, I know that he will enjoy and smile like my dear Jumin. 

 

Then I asked him.  
"Hi V. I know you're surprised why I'm here. Well, I just want to visit you and I'm hoping to see Jumin .. I miss that because he .... Ahhhhh ... where is he? "Only I saw in his eyes was sad before he spoke.   
"Come on, follow me." 

 

I was confused about his behavior but still followed him. I tried to talk to him but he did not keep silent. I noticed we were in the direction of the lake. It's still like the old one, the old tree we've been guilty of by Jumin. The donated Tree of Narra was where we sat at that time when he kissed me on the cheek as he shared me with Prom. I smiled and I felt more and more eager for him. Jumin suddenly stopped under the tree and was taught before whispering.   
"Hyun Ryu."

I looked at where he was pointing out and I noticed the new grave pit that was written in the name of a man I loved. I can not believe what I have seen and try to convince myself that it's just your bad joke, a bad dream and just later I'll wake up too. 

 

 

I seem to have been in heaven and earth and I see Seven, asking for explanation. He breathed deeply and with his tears dripping, he said, 

"It's just a few weeks to die. He died in Leukemia, but even if he was ill he did not stop thinking about it. He asked him to bury him in this place because he always said that this place is a place of love. "

When my feelings broke out, my whole body was shaking and my lips were shaking, I could not stop the flow of tears in my eyes. 

 

"He said, here he spent his happiest day and that was when he was with you. He gives it. "He handed me a letter so that it turned away and went away. 

I slowly opened the letter and saw the flesh of the dried corsage I gave him at Prom. And under I noticed a letter. It lasted last month. I opened it and my tears flowed down as the tears read the writing.

 

 

I know that as soon as you read this letter I'm gone. I just want to tell you that I'm lucky and thankful to God because he gave me a friend like you. 

I would also like to inform you that there is something left in my heart, something that I kept hiding for a long time. I love you Jumin, not as a friend but as one who would feel like spending the rest of my life with. I love you from the beginning. Do you know it grows more every day and time together? 

The best time is when we get together. You just do not know how to dream every night and wake up in the morning the desire is always beside you.

When you're away, I can not stop crying because I'm afraid I might be with you. I can not see you with others. I want you all my life. I have sound selfish but that's how I feel. Every time you embrace it is like a dream fulfillment that comes close to you and feels your heartbeat with my breathing. I made so much to learn how to love me but I did not recognize you. I did everything for you to rejoice because I love you so much that I also believe in myself that I love you too.

Every night I cry every time I think I can not love you. I suppose you will think that everything I say is a lie, but I want to say that my heart is telling the truth because I can not tell lies to someone I love most. 

I know you're thinking of V, but I just did it for you to jerk, so you see me as a boyl who can love not as a girl in your playmate. I sometimes feel jealous and I believe in myself as one of the signs that you have in common with me.

When Mark separated us and I went to your cry, I did it so I knew what you would react because I wanted to know that I loved you too. But I was disappointed because you did not make any signs.

When our Prom Night comes, you just do not know how happy I was when you gave me a corsage and say that I am the best man in the world. When we are dancing I want to hear from you the words I long ago want to hear from you. You say I love you too, but you did not. When V approached me and told me to give him another chance I was scared to see you. I do not want to think of a wrong empathy to me so I told the Garden that we were just talking. I have to confess to you what I love.

I looked after you but I could not find you, I just found that you were looking for me and I think you saw us talking. The next day I would like to explain to you but you did not give me the opportunity to do that. Keep me safe and do not just know the pain I've experienced in those hours. I feel that my world has collapsed. 

In our Graduation day, when we approach you I want to tell you how much I love but I can not. I can not hear from you say that you only feel the love of a brother. Because you want to love me as a Man and not a butler or a playmate. So I turned and went away.

Now that saying I LOVE YOU might be too late, still I want you to know that I will always love you and my heart has always been and will be yours alone. 

PS   
Think of me sometimes .... and always remember that loving you was the best thing that ever happened in my life. 

 

 

 

I can not stop tears from my Eyes while closing the letter. I want to cry and tell her how much I love her, more than she loves me. I love her more than anything else in the World. 

It seems like a hollow I'm kneeling on the ground. Mourn to hold the land covered by the grave of my beloved woman. It seems like the time is in my mourning and the rain falls. I'm still in a poor mood.

I look at my face in the sky as the tears are rushing in the rush of rain on my face, I close my eyes simultaneously ... 

"Oh God, send my love to heaven."

**Author's Note:**

> how is it??? Being young is frustrating  
> errors????!!
> 
> _____________________________________________________________________
> 
> Kudos and bookmarks are appreciated!!


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